5 Ways to Build Resilience in Children with Self-Gratitude

Imagine growing up in a world where you were taught to build resilience through empathy not just for others, but for yourself, too. A place where showing gratitude for others and yourself was celebrated, not labeled as “selfish.” Many of us didn’t receive those lessons, but now we can share this positive self-image and life-affirming practice with our children.

We might want to start these changes, but life can be busy, and finding the time or remembering to practice mindfulness activities can be difficult. Helping your child recognize their self-worth is one of the greatest gifts you can give them—and it doesn’t have to be complicated. While this practice can be done anytime, bedtime is my favorite. It’s a great way to foster gratitude and connection in a meaningful way. Incorporating a personal practice of your own will help further strengthen this practice and help both of you embrace being “grateful for me.”

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What is Self-Gratitude?

Self-gratitude is recognizing your worth and appreciating your qualities, even those we may not necessarily like right now. It's that moment when your child can look in the mirror and sincerely appreciate their spark.

Girl who has been taught to build resilience through self-gratitude

Benefits of Self-Gratitude

Teaching your child to be grateful for themselves has amazing psychological and emotional perks. Imagine it as giving them a toolbox filled with all they need to tackle life's challenges. The influence you have plays a huge role in the ability to instill these key benefits:

Boosts Confidence: It is neurodiverse affirming, allowing all ways of thinking to be celebrated. Knowing their unique strengths can help children embrace who they are and shine with confidence.
Emotional Resilience: Having the sensory input- seeing and hearing the affirmation greatly increases their belief that the statement is true. You could also add an essential oil to add to the experience. A strong self-image makes them better prepared to cope with setbacks and failures.
Improved Well-Being: Self-gratitude can lead to a happier state of mind, fostering a more positive outlook on life and helping to keep the nervous system regulated.
Encourages Self-Discovery: By being thankful for themselves, kids are more likely to explore and understand their own passions and interests.

1. Build Resilience with Affirmations and Breathing

Start by explaining to your child that affirmations are positive statements that can help us feel good about ourselves. Pair this concept with deep breathing to create a calming ritual. You can create a list of affirmations together or start by using the following suggested affirmations:

“I am grateful for the love inside me.”
“I am grateful I can do hard things.”
“I am thankful for my unique talents.”
“I am thankful for my imagination.”
“I am thankful to be me.”

You can also download and try the affirmation I use in my kids' yoga classes:

“Thankful for me, I give myself a big breath and a grateful squeeze.”

Affirmation: I am grateful I can do hard things

Affirmation: I am thankful for my unique talents

Affirmation: I am thankful for my imagination

Affirmation: I am grateful for the love inside me.

Affirmation: Thankful for me, I give myself a big breath and a grateful squeeze.

After the word “breath,” take a big breath together and encourage them to wrap their arms around themselves in a big hug as you complete the affirmation. This simple acknowledgment helps them appreciate who they are and brings their focus inward.

2. Use a Bedtime Routine to Set the Scene

Bedtime is an ideal time for this meditation practice. After all the day’s excitement, children need a way to wind down and transition into a peaceful sleep. Incorporating this gratitude-based breathing meditation at the end of your nighttime routine helps them carry a feeling of warmth and self-love into their dreams. Before bed, read a calming book, like Zen Pig: The Art of Gratitude, which reinforces themes of mindfulness and emotional understanding.

3. Engage with the Story of ‘Zen Pig'

If you’re unfamiliar with Zen Pig: The Art of Gratitude, it’s a wonderful tale that teaches children about emotions, mindfulness, and finding happiness in the present moment. I use this book after deep relaxation in my TMN Kidding Around Yoga with Linda classes. You can make this part of your bedtime ritual to support the idea of being grateful for oneself and the world around them. The book’s soothing illustrations and gentle reminders encourage your child to reflect on their feelings with kindness.

4. Make it Fun and Interactive

To keep this practice engaging, you can create a mini-routine:

Deep Breath: Teach your child to take a deep breath through their nose.
Affirmation Time: As they exhale, have them say, “Thankful for me, I give myself a big breath and a grateful squeeze.”
Squeeze and Smile: Encourage them to hug themselves with a little squeeze and smile.

This tactile element adds comfort and security, making the meditation memorable.

5. Incorporate A Gratitude Practice

Moms, this practice isn’t only for kids. Showing gratitude for yourself is just as vital. Before your own bedtime, try this breathing meditation with your child or after they've fallen asleep. Remember, modeling self-compassion teaches your children more than words ever could. Say to yourself, “Thankful for me, I take a deep breath and embrace who I am.” You can use whatever affirmation best resonates with you. Your example will inspire them to carry this habit throughout their lives.

To support this journey, consider using resources like a mindfulness app to help you integrate gratitude and mindfulness into everyday life. Apps like these make mindfulness more accessible, offering easy ways to bring moments of gratitude into your routine.

For a fun mindfulness activity, try the 5-minute mindfulness for kids pumpkin meditation with your child. It’s a joyful way to cultivate mindfulness and self-gratitude.

Don’t forget connection is key. Joining a supportive community like the Mindful Parenting: Moms Raising Resilient Kids Facebook group can provide a space for sharing experiences, learning new insights, and finding encouragement. Integrating affirmations and other gratitude games and activities into your daily life helps create a foundation of self-love and resilience for you and your child.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Q: How do I explain affirmations to my child? A: You can explain affirmations as positive statements that help us feel good about ourselves and remind us of our worth. They’re like little love notes to ourselves.

Q: Can I do this meditation during the day? A: Absolutely! While bedtime is great, this meditation can be done anytime your child needs a moment of calm or a boost of self-confidence.

Q: How can I make this practice more engaging for my child? A: Incorporate fun elements like storytelling, a special bedtime book like Zen Pig, or interactive movements like giving themselves a gentle hug while saying the affirmation.

Q: Is this practice beneficial for parents too? A: Yes! Practicing gratitude and mindfulness isn’t just for kids—it’s a powerful self-care tool for parents, too. Modeling these practices teaches your children the importance of self-compassion.